The Alchemized Spirit

Navigating the Quarter-Life Crisis: Finding Career Fulfillment and Overcoming Self-Doubt w/ Estelle Petrequin | Ep.11

• Ashleigh V

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Are you stuck in a quarter-life crisis, feeling unfulfilled in your career? Join me as I chat with Estelle Petrequin, a mindset and success coach who's been through it all and now dedicates her life to helping professional women overcome self-doubt, and market themselves effectively to attract aligned career opportunities. Estelle and I have walked similar paths with our own quarter-life crises, and in this conversation, we dive into how to navigate this challenging phase and find true success.

Together, we explore the concept of career fulfillment and discuss how understanding your interests and skills can lead you to a job that truly fits your passions. Estelle shares invaluable advice on making the most of the current economic landscape and developing the skills that will set you up for success. We also delve into the process of discovering your purpose through your past experiences, passions, and values, and how taking the time to find your purpose can lead to meaningful work.

Lastly, Estelle opens up about the two powerful concepts she teaches her clients – the compound effect and the law of detachment. We discuss how clients can learn to regulate their emotions and identify common ground with those they might not initially get along with, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life. Don't miss this insightful and inspiring conversation with Estelle Petrequin, and be sure to check out her podcast, Deep From Self-Doubts to Success, to further explore self-doubt and success in the professional world.

Get hold of Estelle if you are interested in being coached by her! Or just stay in her circle through the following options:

Follow Estelle on Instagram here or @yourcoachestelle
Check out her website here
Listen to her Podcast here

Apply to be coached by me 11:  by clicking here>>

Download my Free ebook: From Self-Doubt to Success in 72 hrs

 

Follow me on Instagram Here


Get instant access to my year end Manifestation Mini Course here >>

Download my workbook "From Self-Doubt to Success in 72hrs" for Free >>

Speaker 1:

Hello everyone, welcome back to episode 11. 11 is a great, freaking number. I don't think I need to explain to any of you why 11 is a great number. If you're not sure, google it. I'm so excited for this episode. I'm really amped for everyone to listen to this because here's the thing I have this amazing coach on today. Her name is Estelle, Which is French Petrecaune Okay, I don't get that R rolling for the French like probably, but maybe Englishly, phonetically you would say Petrequin. She is a mindset and success coach who helps professional women overcome self-doubt and market themselves effectively so they can attract aligned career opportunities. The reason I'm so excited for you to listen to this podcast episode is because I never worked in corporate And Estelle and I have such similar stories you will hear in this episode And where what's so interesting is she had her quarter-life crisis which led her to become a coach.

Speaker 1:

I had my quarter-life crisis which led me to become a coach, But Estelle had a quarter-life crisis because she didn't go after her dreams and she didn't go after what she truly enjoyed. Estelle ticked all the boxes. She went to a really prestigious university in Europe one of the best universities, I think it was. She speaks a lot on the podcast, but I did some stalking the other day And I think she went to King's College Could be wrong, But really one of the best universities she studied. She got the job at one of the best companies I'm not sure which one And so she ticked all these boxes. But when she got into the corporate, she was absolutely miserable And she spent a lot of years feeling, speaking of self-doubt. She spent a lot of years feeling like there was something wrong with her for the fact that she wasn't more happy and fulfilled. Because, of course, this is what we're told in society. We're told this And this is why we have a quarter-life crisis Just like, do X, Y and Z and you'll be happy. And what's interesting is so she didn't go after her dreams and what she enjoyed. I did go after my dreams and what I enjoyed, And I still had a quarter-life crisis because things didn't work out the way that I did And I was also kind of told just do what you love And don't worry, everything will work out. And when I got to 27 and I didn't work for years in actress and I hadn't achieved the success and I didn't have my Oscar, I was like you guys said that if I just did what I loved and went after it and followed my dreams, that everything would be fine. And everything is not fine. So, yeah, same such similar stories. You're also here, like still wanting to be an actress at one stage. So, like, really crazy, how many synchronicities happened. When we got chatting. I met her on Instagram. We just started chatting, loved her vibe. I think she must have liked something about me, which is why we started chatting And yeah, it's a really cool perspective. And yeah, it was very different to me, because I never really worked in corporate and she did. So this is for all the corporates out there.

Speaker 1:

And if you are someone who is going through a period of time right now where you're stuck and you're confused and you're like maybe having your own quarter-life crisis and maybe you're not 25 but you're 35 or you're 45. 50, 55. Like having a transition, This episode is for you. And if there's one thing I want you to take out of it, it's that there's nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you And it's really natural. And the other thing to take out of this is like we all get through it. We all get through it And, trust me.

Speaker 1:

If you landed on this podcast, if you're the type of soul that is going through something like this and you are seeking information and help with it and you've landed up in my podcast episode, like listening to this, if you've landed up on my Instagram or whatever, like the universe is guiding you, God is guiding you. Creative intelligence, higher power whatever you want to call it is guiding you, And I know it can feel really overwhelming, but trust me, if you're fucking listening to this, you are in the right place. Like you're going to be fine, You're going to get through to the other side, just like we did, just like everyone does. So let's get into it everyone. This is Estelle. Hello, Estelle, Welcome to the podcast. I'm so happy to have you here. Hi, Ashley, Thank you. Thank you so much for inviting me.

Speaker 2:

I'm so excited. I just love the last conversation we had. Ashley and I did a live last week and it was so powerful, so I'm just so honored to be here and continue this conversation with you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah so exciting And I love like we both have such a similar message about self-doubt And, yeah, i mean we're both equally passionate about it, so I'm really excited to like delve into this episode, yeah. So okay, tell me how. What's your story first of all? So how did you become a coach and how did you land up doing this work? What brings you here?

Speaker 2:

Okay, so I am a career and mindset coach. I really what I specialize in is helping people find their purpose, potentially change careers, but just being happier at work and like really owning their power. I work with women most of the time. I really have this like passion to empower women and help them become leaders in their field without having to sacrifice their well-being, and just moving forward in their career, feeling confident, feeling at ease and just having fun throughout the process.

Speaker 2:

And when it comes to my story, where do I begin?

Speaker 2:

Well, i think you know to make it not too long, but I was heavily conditioned as a young girl, and then later on, as a student as well, to really follow the success, the traditional definition of success.

Speaker 2:

So you know, go to a prestigious university, graduate, get hired at a prestigious or renowned company organization and just climb the ladder right, and that's what I followed. I really thought that by being a good student, being a high achiever, going to these like good universities, i would be successful and, as a result, be happy. But then, you know, as I graduated, entered the job market, i realized a lot of things like that First of all, that I was probably not meant to be in the corporate world and that there was a lot of things that just didn't make sense to me, like just my, you know, everyday routine lacked meaning and it would create this like confusion and anxiety about the future of where am I going? What's the point of all of this? How can I improve my life and just be happy with my work? Because I think until then I had completely considered work like a separate thing, you know in my life, like my personal life and my professional life being separated things.

Speaker 2:

And when I realized how much time we spent at work and it might sound so stupid, but you know, it's really when you're in it that you realize how much energy and time it takes, that I was like, okay, no, I cannot just do any job like. I need to find alignment. And this is where I started this whole journey of trying different things and finally getting very inspired by a coach and realizing that this was probably my path. And this is when I got certified as a life coach, first as a health and wellness coach and a life coach, And now I'm taking a certification as a mindset and success coach as well. So I have definitely found my path and now I just want to, you know, share my gifts and help other women find theirs as well.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I love that so much And I like it's such a. I wanted to ask you about leading like you talked about the conditioning and how I wonder, when you were like leading up to, people are telling you go to school, do good at school so you can get into a great university, do great at university so you can get the job. As you're being built up and then climb the ladder as you're thinking about the future ahead of you, were you like into it? Were you excited? Were you like yeah, this is kind of exciting? No, okay, not at all.

Speaker 2:

It's not at all. But you know what? I didn't question it until I actually had to do it. So I was always focusing on the next step. Right, i was like, okay, i need to pass this year And then we move on to the next year. And then I applied to university, and same thing happens again, and then once I'm done with my bachelor's degree, i move on to the master's degree.

Speaker 2:

So, like, i can postpone those questions, you know, those important existential questions, until I had no choice anymore because I had to, you know, get into the job market and start my professional life, start my career.

Speaker 2:

So I just, you know, i think I was just kind of avoiding it, like I wasn't aware of it then, but I think, subconsciously, i was just trying not to think too much about it because I was scared of it, And I think I had this quite stressful idea of what success was, or, like you know, the idea of hard work and hustling, and and just that's the example I had at home with my dad. It's, it's what I would see is just what was promoted in the schools I went to and just, you know, my neighborhoods, like the environments I was growing up in, i was, just, you know, always attaching success to this like sacrifice in a way, you know, but at the same time. So that was the total paradox. It was that, at the same time, if you're not successful, there's no way that you can be happy, because they were not worthy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know yeah, so you don't do that And you damned it, you don't.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. So I was like, oh, i'm just gonna pretend, you know, i'm just gonna play the game, i'm just gonna go on and on and see what happens and deal with the situation you know at the time. But, like I was never very excited about my career because I wasn't clear on what I wanted, i didn't know what I wanted. So it's hard to get excited about something you cannot even imagine right.

Speaker 1:

Sure, that's so interesting And like. The reason why I asked that was because, you know, we we both talk about a quarter life crisis And some people, so you had that experience. I know some people have the experience of like they're kind of into it, they're like, okay, cool, yeah, i'm going to be this accountant And I'm going to like earn all this money by the time I'm 30, and I'm going to buy a house. And they get really excited for like 12, maybe even 15 years since they were in grade nine.

Speaker 1:

And then it all comes together And they just like the disappointment and the lack of fulfillment is like crashing. So you almost like come from this high of excitement that you've been building around this idea And then the idea doesn't bring you to happiness and you crash. Do you see that with your clients at all?

Speaker 2:

Yes, Yes, absolutely. I mean in general, you know, i would say that a quarter life crisis is is going to look and feel different to every one of us. Like it's, it's just. You know, we all have our own experiences and story, but, if I can, maybe they find it, you know, in a universal way, like I think it would be saying it's.

Speaker 2:

To me, at least, it really felt like this realization of, okay, what I thought I needed to do in order to be happy, in order to be successful. Whatever that looks like, you know, because, depending on your academic background, cultural background, anything like it might look differently, but when you get there, it's. It's that realization, or that disillusion, suddenly you know, of getting there and being like Oh, this is not, this is not what I thought this would be at all, and this sucks. Basically, i am not happy here, i'm not meant to be here, you know So. So I think it's. It's really to me, the quarter life crisis is really getting to that moment of achieving a goal And putting so much pressure on that goal, thinking that that goal is going to solve all of your problems and make you happy, finally, and like, like, it's a destination, right. And then you get there And you're like Oh my God, this is only the start of all of my problems.

Speaker 1:

Like Oh, my God, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right. Was that how you felt?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's so. Obviously I have the different experience where, like, I went off to my dream and I got to 30 and I like half of it was okay, I don't have the Oscar and the fame and the money and the recognition and, like my dream, I thought by 30, I would have crafted in Hollywood. So half of it was like this death of that idea and that dream. But the other half of it is also like I didn't. I had no idea how hard acting was going to be.

Speaker 1:

And I also didn't know the process. It's like having the sort of like being an accountant with the money, but then realizing like the work of being an accountant was actually really soul destroying And the process of becoming an actor was soul destroying for me actually. And so it was like both of those you know and I had to make a decision of like okay, is this actually what I want to do? And I always say like I gave up my dream, that my dream as a coach. But like the truth is I'm still a little bit confused And I but I know like it led me to being a coach and acting is taking a side seat for now And I'm growing and I'm just trusting that like this coaching thing fills me up with so much energy And I haven't quite resolved whether I'm going to completely let acting go.

Speaker 1:

I might go back to it, but for now, like the truth is that I'm like I have a client who's an actor actually and I'm helping her like have all these breakthroughs and acting and she's manifesting auditions, because I know I did that for myself, right. And she's like, oh, i, you know I'm doing self tapes every day and I'm going to master classes And I'm like I don't know if I was even like that, but when it comes to coaching, i'm going to coaching master classes and virtual and it's just like I don't know. I'm still like and it's okay that I don't 100% know if I've completely let go of acting, but yeah, anyway, all that to say that was my, my quarter life crisis was like holy shit, i had this huge dream And then it didn't happen. And then it kind of happened, but I still wasn't satisfied.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. So like, not like me. You were actually excited. You had something in mind, like you had clarity on what you wanted, but maybe it was more like the idea, or what you imagined wasn't really the reality of it, right, yeah. Yeah, exactly, exactly, there's really, there's always this element of this illusion like oh, this is not what I expected.

Speaker 1:

Yes, This idea that doesn't that you've been building for like a decade, maybe, you know, 15 years, this idea that has you've been working toward and then it doesn't. It just doesn't work out the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, very cool. So part of what you say is in your message during and with clients, is that you want to help people know and discover that they can be fulfilled and successful. And I found that interesting because I was like, well, now that we've spoken about it, i guess it makes a bit more sense, but you can speak about it more. It's like I would have thought that fulfillment and success are like implicit right, like yeah, if you successful, you must be fulfilled.

Speaker 1:

So yeah from you again like why? why you feel the need to say that?

Speaker 2:

I think that's so interesting because, as you mentioned, you are going into this acting career. It's different than maybe the traditional, you know career that most people are going to pick like an office job, right. And I think that with that, like with acting, of course you're not going to go into your acting career only to I don't know make ads, for example. You'll have this dream of making big movies. Obviously you know so. Obviously, like from the start, you chose something that fulfilled you, like you loved acting and also with this expectation of as an actor, you know when, when you succeed, like you're successful but you're still doing something you love. So I think, like people going into those more like creative career paths, they already have this expectation of bringing together fulfillment and success. Maybe less people that go into you know, typical office jobs And I think something that comes up often with my clients is that it's like oh, i have a good job, like those are.

Speaker 2:

I work usually with people who are high achievers, who have ambition you know who are in jobs that are traditionally seen as a renowned, a prestigious, a reputable job, and they attached, you know, as I was saying, like they think that once they're there they're going to be successful.

Speaker 2:

so they're going to be happy because they're going to get the recognition, the validation they're going to get, the money they're going to get, you know, all those perks that you get from having the status, basically. But it's like, oh, actually I'm like this is not enough, the conditions are not enough to truly make me feel fulfilled. So now I have to choose. do I stay where I am And I have that status and I have that success in terms of wealth and possibilities, you know, and like just getting promoted, getting the raise and all that, or do I change? and, you know, do I risk it? like starting from the bottom, going into something like that is outside of my comfort zone, that I don't know, that maybe, yeah, potentially, is going to make me so much happier, but am I going to be successful at it?

Speaker 1:

You know, am I going to earn a lot of money from doing something I love.

Speaker 2:

basically, and I think there's this very strong stereotype, you know, in just in the mainstream culture of like, you're either doing this creative work, follow your passion, right, like, but you're this artist who's struggling to make ends meet every month and like it's just, everything is super tough. Or you know, you choose something more traditional and you have stability, security, but your everyday life sucks. And, yeah, my message is truly that, no, it doesn't have to be that way. Like, sometimes, actually, a few tweaks can really make your life better.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes you do need to make a big change, but it's not because I would even argue this The job that fulfills you the most, that you're probably going to excel at the most, because doing something you actually love, that is truly aligned with you, is going to give you so much energy and motivation, you know, and just the willingness to keep learning, which is really necessary nowadays because we need to constantly, consistently adapt to our new landscape, economy, like, things are constantly moving, so it's if you want to be successful. it's that is, being able to adapt and really offer something you know valuable to people and doing it in a unique way. And I think that when you enjoy yourself. there's way more chances for you to develop that than actually forcing yourself and being in that constant resistance. you know following a path that doesn't fulfill you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, amazing. So how, how do you? what's your experience with your clients and helping them find that thing? Yeah, i'd love to know. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

What's the secret? Yeah, it always starts with first getting to know yourself. So that's a huge part, i think, and it's probably the one that takes the longest and that most people completely ignore because, you know, we haven't been taught how to do that, like.

Speaker 2:

So people most of the time when they want to change careers, they just straight up go to job boards and look at you know what's out there, basically, and try to get inspired you know, but like actually the reason you are in a job that doesn't fulfill you is because you haven't taken the time to get to getting to know yourself better, and so you want to look at your interests, you want to look at your values, you want to look at your strengths, the things that come naturally to you that, like, people always tell you you're so good at this, like, and maybe you're taking it for granted right now you know, like really becoming aware of those things as well as your subconscious mind. So, all the beliefs that you have, all the past conditioning, you know, that has obviously influenced your choices, your decisions in the past and that have made you or led you to where you are at right now. You want to look at that as well. So it's kind of like a big analysis of, okay, who am I? Yeah, what are my beliefs And are these actually supporting me? because then you create a choice as well, yeah, and once you go through all of that, like, you're starting to be able to narrow down some ideas because you already feel more free.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know I never straight up go into the job search or picking a career unless someone has really that level of clarity already. But when they're completely lost. First, we need to look at what happened in the past. What is it that you like and don't like in your current job? What were past experiences? What did?

Speaker 2:

you learn from that. You know who are you, what are the things you love to do in your personal life? Like, there's so many clues there. you know what I mean As a child as well. what were you doing as a child? because, as children were intuitively going into the things we love doing. And how does all of this information match with a need in the world? That's the second step. right, yeah, yeah, like, what can you do with all of this? to solve a problem in the world or to help solve it? Yeah, and you don't need, it doesn't need to be huge. People always think, oh, but I don't have a purpose. Like you know, i'm not great at hamburger And like I'm not, like I'm not gonna say the environment It doesn't need to be huge. If it has those elements and it's helping to solve a problem, that it's an actual need that exists in the world, that's enough. Like, there's potential there to connect both, yeah, and to find a career within that connection. right, yeah, with that mix.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, i feel like it's never been a better time to go after your passion, because we're so connected as a world. We've never had so much access to so many people. So what that means is like, even if your purpose or what you discover through this process is so random, trust me, there will be like a massive amount of random people Like this is the niche right That are gonna want to buy your voice or your thing or whatever. It's never the best time to be able to like have something random that people you know Yes, definitely.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, i went to a leadership workshop the other weekend and I met a woman and such a successful business She's making, i think, between 500 and 700,000 dollars a year. She's called the Kallaguru And she helps people match their clothing color to their skin complexion. So you like have a new meeting and they've got some tape or whatever and like helps you to like pick out the colors that work for you And it's like such a. It's kind of like just really random and she loves it. Such a niche thing, right, yeah, such a niche thing, but now I'm thinking maybe not even that niche, because there are actually so many women along the path that don't know what color they like or need by them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah yeah, yeah. And crushing it, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like niche, in the sense that maybe not that many people are doing it, but yeah, it's definitely a universal kind of issue. Yeah, and yeah it's really and I wanted to say something about. Oh. Yeah, you said it's the best time to follow your passion. Definitely, i think a lot of people get stuck with this belief and the fear of there's so much competitiveness. So who am I? I'm not original enough, i'm not good enough at this thing, and you actually made a post about this today, which was so good. Like, let yourself begin. Be a beginner, you know. Like that's how you're going to build your expertise, slowly but surely, and actually, if you're really following something that you're truly genuinely interested in, passionate about, that you feel has an impact that matters to you and that aligns with your values, like you're going to do what needs to be done in order to make it work. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Totally. I mean, i feel like, especially for you, your clients are very high achieving And they can't fail because they've got the hard work, they've clearly got the discipline, they're clearly high achievers, they're clearly smart And it's like a perfect scenario of like, yeah, go after this, and if it is your mission, you'll stay focused and stick at it, because it is interesting to you everything all day.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Yeah, definitely. And just to say one more thing about following your passion. this is tricky because I think it's definitely necessary to, I would say, follow your purpose more than your passion.

Speaker 1:

OK, because sometimes passion.

Speaker 2:

You can sometimes confuse it with hobbies, right, and those are not necessarily things that you're going to be great at that you want to do all day, every day, or that actually helps someone else You know what I mean That is going to meet a need in the world. Let's say you enjoy playing tennis on the weekends. Do you want to become a professional tennis player? Maybe not. You know what I mean. So, yeah, i think your passions give you clues, for sure, like they're your interests, but then you also want to look at the rest, like you want to really take all of this into consideration, like the impact you want to have, your values, your strengths, your strengths as well.

Speaker 1:

Yes, amazing, so awesome, the work you're doing. So if someone wants to get started somewhere, what's your advice for them? You know someone who's like, wants to make a career change, and is like, ok, i relate so much of what you're saying. I want to make a change, i want to discover my purpose. What's your advice for them?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, first thing, you have time. Ok, chill the fuck out. People put so much pressure on themselves, Like I need to find a new job in six months And you know, maybe, ok, it's, your current job is unbearable And in that case I would recommend for you to like, maybe look for something else that can be like a transition, you know, but take your time with this process because you don't want to do, you don't want to make the same mistakes as I did. Like I just started job hopping right When I realized I wasn't happy somewhere. I started somewhere else, and then somewhere else, and then somewhere else, and there was always negative things And like I was never happy And at some point I even thought that something was wrong with me. You know what I mean. I was like am I, am I made to be a professional woman? Maybe not Like, maybe I should just stay at home and do nothing, You know, but so, so yeah, i think the first phase really take your time, take away that pressure on yourself, because that limits your possibilities, it limits your creativity or imagination.

Speaker 2:

You want to really let yourself be free during that period of exploration, of self discovery and exploration, and so you know you can start with the self discovery. You can obviously hire a coach as well. Like everything related to your fields and your self doubt, it's going to go so much quicker if you hire a mindset coach. Like, honestly, it's like for me it's. You know, it was day and night Then, day and night the change that I went through because I hired a coach. But if you cannot at the moment, yeah, just you know, start journaling, start thinking about what is your ideal workday, what is your dream life Like, what are the things that actually just bring you joy, you know, without the pressure of thinking of a job title, of like sending out applications, and don't even think about that for now. Like, completely forget about this for now and let yourself be free, take your time, explore And I think once you come down to a few ideas, there comes the time that you can start talking to people And immerse yourself, you know, in different kind of like environments, work environments or fields, and test it for yourself before going through the job search, before applying, before actually changing careers.

Speaker 2:

Like I think that's such an important thing that I wish someone had told me when I was going through that. Like, just talk to people who are doing the job you think you want to do. Like these are the people that are going to be the best. Like these are the people that are going to give you the most information on what it's actually like. What is the reality like?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, maybe that's what happened with you with acting. You know you had this image and then it was like, yeah, no, actually it's not like that. Maybe you didn't talk to that many actors. You know, when people who had to go through all these auditions and do all of this work behind the scenes, like before actually getting a job and being on stage or being filmed, right, i think I did get told that I was naive.

Speaker 1:

Like maybe like that for me Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, and like it's, you know, i think think it's yeah, no.

Speaker 1:

No, go for it.

Speaker 2:

No, i just wanted to really reinforce this, that talking to people, maybe even if you have the opportunity to do some volunteering work or even do one job for a company let's say you have this dream company and you see they need something getting proactive and trying out things just to see and test for yourself how it feels to do it and to be in that environment and to talk to these kind of people, like do you feel that it's your tribe or do you feel that it's just not for you at the end of the day? So like it's yeah, like give yourself time for that exploration definitely.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's such good advice Like I would have never thought that and I just feel calm for whoever's listening to this. I'm like wow, like I feel like you've taken the pressure off me. So just go down like go within, take your time, speak to people, journal, get to know yourself like it's all going to be fine Yeah yeah it's very beautiful. I love that. I think people are going to find that very helpful. Okay, so tell me about the law of detachment.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so that's a big one. I think two big things or concepts that I teach my clients. One would be the compound effect. So just trusting the fact that every small action you take is, like, you know, summing up to something bigger. Like sometimes people have these expectations of, oh, it's going to be an overnight success or I'm going to take one action and I'm going to get immediate results. So I always teach them about the compound effect. Actually, there's a book called like that. I don't know if you've read it. It's amazing.

Speaker 2:

Like it really motivates you to take some distance and be like okay, you know, it's not because I take one action and I maybe fail or I don't get the result I want, that something is wrong with me. You know, like I need to stay consistent and keep going and you know, slowly but surely, i will get the outcomes I want. That's the first thing. The second thing the law of detachment. I think and that's why I mentioned the law the compound effect is because it happens kind of together. Right, because when you are putting so much pressure on yourself and thinking that your happiness is only going to arrive when you reach your goal, that's a trap. Like you cannot think that way because when you're even if you reach your goal, like you're going to be happy for one day, but then you go, you go back to you know, maybe the next goal and like so you don't want to only be happy in those small moments where you are achieving something, you want to be happy throughout the process. And so the law of detachment is basically saying okay, detach from that goal. Yes, have a goal, be excited about it, work towards it, but don't make that outcome mean anything about you or don't let your happiness depend on achieving that.

Speaker 2:

You know, like, try to find ways to enjoy yourself right now, even if you're in a job that sucks right now. Actually, that's another thing I forgot to mention with taking your time, try to tweak some things. Or, like, see how you can approach things differently in your current life. You know, like I had this client who has just changed careers, both industry and world. It's amazing. And like she, she was stuck in a job she was not so passionate about but it was okay. But she had a really bad relationship with her boss And you know, she just learned to regulate her emotions. She learned to approach maybe the communication with her differently, have more compassion Like try out different things in order to make her current situation better as well.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I love that That's so powerful as well, because, like these people are our teachers right. There's no mistake that the boss is in your life. The boss is there to teach you something And if you just cut and run without trying to like alchemise or deal with your current situation and see what am I learning from this And that's clearly a skill, a life skill I get to master here Then you're going to miss out on that.

Speaker 1:

And they really are. These people are our teachers and we attract them into our lives for a reason, usually because of unconscious beliefs and unresolved trauma or unresolved shifts. And you have a chance to see if it's your boss, so it's a boyfriend or it's a big friend or whatever a family member, like they're there. And if you don't actually like, alchemise that situation by, like you said, emotional regulation, compassion, all those things, you're just going to repeat it at the next place. Oh, it will come in another way.

Speaker 2:

So patterns, especially those negative ones. they're here to teach you a lesson And you know what the craziest thing is is that that woman actually went through the same trauma as my client like her boss.

Speaker 2:

They both lost a parent and they just had completely different ways of dealing with it. So one was hyper sensitive, my client. The other one and very sweet and more like reserved and being a bit scared of everything you know and anxious. and the other one was just like fighting through life and just being against everyone you know, like kind of protecting herself that way, and so them getting to communicate with each other better.

Speaker 1:

they found out about that similarity and sharing those experiences also creates way more connection, even with the people you thought or think you could never get along with you can find common ground you know, yes, and it's just got emotional and like chills, that's so beautiful, so so beautiful, yeah, yeah, i also had a client who had an awful work situation and her boss was just, he wasn't a bad guy, he was just an awful leader, you know, and she would come and tell me what he was doing And I was like this guy is just.

Speaker 1:

I told her it's like this is not about you. Like this person objectively, i can hear this person is just not, you should not be in a leadership position. There was like a high turnover rate in her workplace and and yeah, also got to work with her on making that a better situation And she got to like really let her values shine through of like forgiveness and compassion, and then people would come and speak to her and suddenly she became this place for the team, where people would you know, and now she's in a place of service, so she's not thinking about her own shit. Now she's able to serve other people and focus on things outside of herself, which helped it's like that's amazing through the situation. Yeah, yeah, that's really cool.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I think you know also, the lesson in all of that is you always choose how to respond. You know when you might not be in the best circumstances right now, but learn from the past, question your beliefs, question the assumptions you're making that led you to where you are at right now, and also try to make the best out of what you have now, like be grateful for the things you do have, be proud of yourself for all the achievements you know you have created in your life. Like give yourself credit.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, because if you're just focusing constantly on what's lacking and what all the reasons why you're not good enough or why it's going to be so complicated to change careers or be fulfilled and successful and all of that, like those are just stories in your head. Like you need to stop identifying with those stories. Yes, yes, and you adopted those stories because at some point they helped you, either protect you, you know from something or make meaning out of a situation that happened to you. So like you just made a generalization, or you know of things, but it doesn't need to be the truth, like maybe that's what happened at that moment, but it doesn't need to be your life story forever.

Speaker 1:

You know, Yeah. Yeah, so powerful, so awesome. This has been so cool. The last question I love to ask people is what makes you an alchemy spirit? So, what makes you an alchemy spirit?

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm curious about, what your definition of alchemy spirit is. You just thrown it back at me, okay, yes, No, like, not like, maybe not your personal experience, but just like how you would define that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. My spirit is someone who has taken all the gunk and shiribu and puffiness and darkness that a human experience can be and they have literally turned it into light and they have made all of that like the power that that has them shine. they like even brighter and do better. that's for me and my spirit Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I love that. Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah, i think I think just my experience of lacking so much clarity and confidence in myself, you know, just this experience of being this little girl with so many dreams and so much ambition, and like growing into this adult woman who had to go through so much trial and error in order to find her path, and that I've finally found it and understood how you know it can be done, like that is my gift now to the world. You know I think like this is.

Speaker 2:

It's my purpose now to help others not having to go through all of this, because it's such a waste of time, energy and some people get stuck in that for years and they don't even realize how worthy, how unique, how beautiful they are and how much they have to offer and and like they completely forget about their potential because they're just in those negative thoughts and emotions and that develops into negative coping mechanisms and I can really say my mess is my message, because you know, that's something I didn't really go into today, maybe next time. But I developed a lot of negative coping mechanisms because of going through that right like other than just being unhappy at work. Like I developed a needing disorder at some point. I was a drug addict at some point, like there was a lot of things that I did to hurt myself, because I was lost, because I didn't have that guidance, and so I want to be that guidance today for people. I don't want people to suffer.

Speaker 1:

Wow, well, i'm gonna have to get you back on because, yeah, that sounds so awesome and like I've got chills and you're on 110%. An alchemy spirit like that is. That is that's the definition, if anyone was wondering.

Speaker 2:

You're sitting better than me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's amazing. Okay, last thing I want to know about your Siddharth's last thing, but tell me about your six month coaching program.

Speaker 2:

Tell us, we'd love to know more and how we can get hold of you.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely so. Right now, there's one way of working with me. It's through my one-on-one coaching program, the Female Success Formula. It's six months long and we meet weekly. You get resources, we work on your mindset. Like, really, my approach is holistic because, you know, i don't, i don't want to overly focus on strategy. I think there's so much more to career change than strategy. And, yeah, you can find me on Instagram at your coach is still. You can also visit my website. It's called the same. Your coach is still. And I also have a podcast which I would love to invite you on, which is called the Deep From Self-Doubts to Success podcast. So feel free to you know, listen to it and share it. And, yeah, i'm looking forward to hearing from you guys and from you, ashley, obviously as well and you know, keep, keep talking about those important topics.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, it's been a joy. Thank you so much. Thank you, i love this conversation. I feel lit up. You're welcome and thank you.